The Dubious Disk
by TeresaShiho
Summary: The crew of the Black Lagoon is given a job that takes them to England. However, they encounter the mysterious Hellsing Organization and learn of the existence of vampires.  Contains strong language, obviously
1. Chapter 1

"You're payin' a lot for a simple delivery." Dutch said as he held a small package in his hands. "Must be somethin' pretty important."

"Naturally. Which is why I've hired you and your crew to get this safely to England." Balalaika said with a slight smile. "I will be also be covering your airfare, food, hotel, weapons and any other expenses. Just make _sure_ this gets to the client safely, and remember that no one is to see its contents."

"To England, huh? Pretty odd place for you to be doing buisiness with." Dutch muttered curiously.

"For your information, the client is an old friend of mine. And that's all you need to know." Balalaika stated firmly.

"Whatever you say." Dutch sighed as he left.

* * *

"THIS STINKS!" Revy shouted as she, Dutch, Rock and Benny lazed around in their 5-star hotel in England. "Why the fuck is fry-face going through all this trouble for such a goddamned _boring_ job?"

"Calm down, Revy." Dutch sighed. "You know how things work; we do the job, we get the money, we ask no questions."

"Besides, we've been tight on money for a while now. It's been hard finding jobs with a decent pay, and we have things back at the Lagoon that need to be tended to." Benny explained as he did work on his laptop.

"I know that already! It's just that if this _thing_ is such a big deal, you'd think we'd have more trouble to deal with along the way!" Revy replied loudly and irritated. "Jeez, my fingers are itching to pull some triggers!"

"Come on, Revy. Why can't you just be grateful that things turned out to be nice and quiet?" Rock said with a smile as he drank a bottle of beer. "Personally, I prefer it when our jobs don't involve fighting hordes of bloodthirsty bounty hunters, yakuza lords or armies."

"DUMBASS! THAT'S WHAT MAKES THE JOB WORTH TAKING!" Revy screamed as she whacked Rock's beer out of his hand, causing it to smash against the wall.

"You don't have to be so violent..." Rock pouted as he thought about the inconvenience that had just been done to the cleaning staff of their hotel.

"Don't get too comfortable, Rock. Revy does have a point, you know." Dutch said, attracting everyone's attention. He held up the small package for the others to see. "Considering the pay we're gettin' for delivering this thing, the fact that no one is to know it's contents and not to mention _where_ we're taking it, I wouldn't be surprised if there were people after it."

"Dutch is right." Benny said, without looking up from the screen of his computer. "Now that we're in England, we should keep our guard up. And on top of what he just said, there's the fact that our client is really strange."

"By the way, who _is_ our client?" Rock asked curiously.

"The Hellsing Organization. I've been doing some research on them, and it appears that they're well known by the higher-ups in England, but there isn't too much _about_ them on the internet." Benny explained. "We're delivering the package to the head of the organization, a member of the Protestant Knights; Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing."

"What a long name..." Rock muttered.

"A Protestant Knight? Crap, now we're dealing with religious fanatics!" Revy complained.

"You'll have to get over it, Revy. Like I said before, the pay can't be beat." Dutch said. "Now get some sleep. We're delivering the package tomorrow morning."

* * *

It was the middle of the night, and the crew of the Black Lagoon lay in their unusually comfortable beds, getting a good sleep. Rock especially seemed to be enjoying the peacefulness. Revy lay with her guns still in hand, Dutch seemed to be no different than usual and Benny had fallen asleep with his computer on his lap.

However, the group's slumber was disturbed as their window suddenly shattered.

"GYAAAAH!" Rock and Benny screamed as they jumped up.

"What the fuck was that?" Revy exclaimed as she pointed her cutlasses around the room.

"Revy, look out!" Dutch shouted as a figure suddenly appeared behind the gunwoman and grabbed her throat.

"Sh...it..." Revy muttered as she was being choked. Out of impulse, she she pointed her guns behind her head and shot, nailing her captor in the head. Much to her, and the others' surprise, Revy was not released from her hold; in fact the person restraining her barely moved.

"What the hell?" Dutch exclaimed. "This guy was just shot... He should be dead!"

"Heh heh heh. Your bullets can't kill me." The strange man said, despite the fact that there were two holes in his head. "Now give me the disk, or this bitch dies."

"What are you talking about? We don't have a disk!" Rock muttered in a panicked voice.

"He must mean the package we're delivering." Benny stated. "The size is about right."

"I'd hurry if I were you." The man said. "I doubt this girl will hold out for much longer."

In response, Revy put the barrel of her gun at the guy's wrist and shot. His hand went limp, releasing her. Revy took a much needed breath as Dutch pulled a gun out of his jacket and shot the man in the heart. Unfortunately, just as before, there was no effect.

"Dammit!" Dutch muttered.

"Doesn't this guy die?" Revy shouted out in frustration.

"Heh. I gave you the option to settle this without bloodshed, but you leave me with no choice... I'll take the disk by force!" The man stated with an excited smirk.

Suddenly he disappeared. Before the crew of the Black Lagoon could do anything, he reappeared in front of Revy and punched her hard in the face. Revy went flying and crashed against the wall, leaving an indent.

"REVY!" Rock called out as he attempted to go to her side. However, the man appeared in front of Rock and kicked him in the ribs sending him crashing into the wall as well.

The man disappeared again as Dutch went to shoot at him, not knowing what else to do. He reappeared in front of Dutch, crushed the gun with his hand and then twisted Dutch's arm behind his back. The man then forced Dutch down into the floor, then stepped on his back, causing Dutch to cry out in pain. He then turned to Benny and punched him out as well, even though the computer geek hadn't done anything.

"Well, that was hardly entertaining..." The man muttered. "I was hoping you'd put up more of a fight. Oh well, at least I can have a midnight snack before I take the disk." He then walked over to Revy and knelt down in front of her. "How would you like to join me, young lady? Are you a virgin?"

"What the hell are you goin' on about, mother-fucker?" Revy said weakly as blood flowed from her broken nose.

"Oh well, even if you're not, you'll still make a wonderful ghoul." The man continued on, ignoring Revy. He opened his mouth wide, revealing a pair of fangs, and began to lean in towards Revy. However, before he could do anything his head suddenly exploded, sending blood flying all over the room.

"What the... fuck..." Revy muttered as she stared in with a mix of horror and confusion. She couldn't piece together what had just happened, and was getting ready to call it all a dream.

"Um... Hello in there? Are you alright?" A sweet, female voice echoed out from the window. Revy, Rock, Dutch and Benny turned their eyes to see a young woman with shoulder-length blond hair wearing a yellow uniform standing in their window. "Sorry about the mess. I figured it would be easier to take him down from a distance rather than engage him head-to-head, especially since my master decided not to come this time around."

"Hey... Who are you?" Dutch asked from his wounded position on the floor.

"Oh! Forgive me for not introducing myself sooner, my name is Seras Victoria." The girl stated with a smile. "I'm with the Hellsing Organization."


	2. Chapter 2

The crew of the Black Lagoon sat in silence, as they allowed their wounds to be treated by doctors of the Hellsing Organization. About an hour earlier, a large truck had been sent to escort them from the scene of the attack to the Hellsing Headquarters. The blond girl named Seras Victoria didn't leave them for a moment. She said vampires could attack at any time, and that it was her job to make sure they were all safe. The four pirates were still having trouble wrapping their heads around what had happened, and what was going on now. They found it hard to believing that vampires were real, and were getting ready to write the whole situation off as either a cruel joke or a nightmare.

Then a new person entered the infirmary. It was a tall woman wearing a suit and smoking an expensive-looking cigar. She wore large round glasses over her blue eyes, and her long hair was a pale shade of blonde.

"Sir Integra!" Seras called out with a smile, as she stood at attention.

"Good evening, police girl." Integra said to the young vampire. She then turned to the injured crew. "Forgive my tardiness. I am Sir Integra. You must be the ones Balalaika sent-"

"Wait, _you're_ 'Sir' Integra?" Revy burst out, causing the doctors to jump back.

"Indeed. Is there a problem?" Integra replied as she raised an eyebrow.

"But... The 'Sir'... When I heard about you, I thought you were a guy!"Revy exclaimed while making motions with her arms. Integra sweat dropped.

"Calm down, Revy." Rock said nervously. "You should be more polite-"

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, ROCK! IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I'M IN A REAL PISSY MOOD! FIRST WE'RE ATTACKED BY SOME MANIAC, AND THEN BLONDIE OVER THERE TRIES TO TELL US THAT VAMPIRES ARE REAL, AND _NOW_... ARGGG!" Revy shouted as she gripped her head and shook it back and forth.

"Such a lively girl..." Integra muttered.

"Don't mind Revy. This is how she reacts to stress. Just be glad that your butler took her guns so she can't shoot anyone." Dutch explained. "Now, how about we get down to business."

"Of course." Integra said. "Did you bring the package?"

"We did." Benny replied. "Though you don't need to be so vague about it. The vampire from before already informed us that it's a disk."

"I wonder what kind of information is on it..." Dutch mused as he reached into his pocket and then held up the object in question. "It must be something _big_ if _vampires _are out after it."

"Would you like to see for yourselves?" Integra said with a smirk. The crew stared at her with wide eyes.

"Are you sure that's alright?" Rock asked.

"Of course. Otherwise I wouldn't have suggested it." Integra replied. "Now come with me."

Integra led the group through the large mansion, passing through several long hallways, and walking up many flights of stairs. Finally, they entered into a room containing many large computer screens.

"Not bad..." Benny muttered to himself, as he carefully looked over the machinery.

Integra opened the package that the Black Lagoon crew had delivered to her, revealing an average-looking disc. She placed it in the computer, and the contents began to play automatically.

"W-what the hell..." The crew muttered as they stared wide-eyed at the screen.

Displayed on the monitor was a security tape, showing a man inside a bar tearing off the limbs of other people with just his bare hands. There were about ten people who were still alive in the room, besides the attacker, and some of them tried shooting at the man, but the bullets didn't appear to have any effect. Once this realization dawned they tried to escape, but to no avail. In a motion that seemed to be a skip in the video, the man appeared in front of those trying to escape and dismembered them as well. This repeated a few times until everyone was dead. The man then approached each victim individually, bit into their necks, and drained everyone dry.

"That's... disgusting..." Rock quivered as he covered his mouth. The others simply cringed.

"Shit... I know that place." Revy muttered.

"Yeah, it's the Yellow Flag." Dutch continued.

"Jeez, Bao must not have been too happy about this..." Benny said half-jokingly.

"Well, there you have it Gentlemen... And Lady." Integra added as she glanced at Revy. "At this point I don't think I need to tell you that the culprit was unmistakably a vampire. And I hope you've come to the same conclusion that your employer did when she found this recording; vampires have begun immigrating to Roanapur."

"Alright, I've had just about enough of this bullshit." Revy stated, as she stared fiercely at Integra. "Who the hell are you people anyway? And what's the real purpose to your 'Hellsing Organization'? There's no way you guys are just a bunch'a rich Protestants."

"We are vampire hunters." Integra said with a wide smirk as she returned Revy's glare. "This is a job that has been passed down to the head of the Hellsing Organization for generations. It is Hellsing's duty to rid the world of inhuman creatures who threaten to destroy us."

"Interesting..." Dutch muttered.

"And you manage to keep all this hidden from the public?" Benny asked.

"Yes. We are on very good terms with the high government officials of England, not to mention the Queen herself." Integra explained.

"So why were the vampires after the disk? Did they want to conceal the identity of the one who did the killing?" Revy questioned.

"Actually, it's quite the opposite. Vampires want to reveal themselves to the public." Integra replied. "Hellsing is determined to ensure that doesn't happen. That's why we've taken the disk, so we can analyze its contents and then destroy it. And in case you're wondering, Balalaika has assured me that anyone who might have witnessed the vampire's killing or seen the disk has been _taken care of._"

"Hang on a second, if you don't want the public to know anything, then why are you telling _us_ all this?" Rock asked nervously.

Integra blinked. "Balalaika didn't tell you?"

"Tell us what?" The Lagoon Company twitched.

"Well, once the delivery was complete, I had planned to hire you to escort my agents to Roanapur and aid them on their mission. I was informed that you are all familiar with Roanapur, and that your business is reliable, especially when it involves some messy work. I had asked Balalaika to relay this to you..." Integra sighed.

"Why that... She's probably sitting in her office laughing at us!" Revy said irritably.

Dutch sighed. "Sorry, but vampire hunting isn't on our resume. I don't think we'll be able to accept your offer."

"Your lack of experience won't be a problem." Integra said. "It will be a few days before we're ready to go to Roanapur, and in the meantime I have arranged a training session on basic vampire slaying for you all."

Benny, Rock and Revy turned their eyes to Dutch as they waited for his response.

"Hmm, what's the pay gonna be like?" Dutch inquired. Integra smiled, and the approached Dutch. She whispered into his ear, and then Dutch's eyes widened. "Wait... _each_?"

"That's right." Integra smirked. Dutch scratched the back of his head as he tried to make a decision.

"Hold on, Dutch! You're not seriously considering taking this job, are you?" Rock pleaded.

"Yeah, this is a little too weird, even for me." Revy said as she crossed her arms and turned away.

"Oh my, this was certainly unexpected..." Integra muttered. The crew turned to her curiously. "I thought that two-hand Revy, of all people, would be up to the challenge... but it looks like she's just a coward."

"What was that, bitch?" Revy shouted, falling right into Integra's taunt. "I'm not a coward! I just have common sense!"

"Excuses, excuses..." Integra sighed over-dramatically. "After all I've been told about your exceptional precision, fierce determination, commanding presence and the fact that you rise up against any challenge, no matter how difficult... Too bad I'll have to dismiss it as over-blown rumours."

"LOOK HERE! NOBODY INSULTS ME LIKE THAT! YOU THINK I'M A COWARD, THEN FINE, I'LL TAKE ON YOUR STUPID-ASS JOB! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? EVERYTIME I KILL A VAMPIRE, I'M GONNA IMAGINE IT'S _YOUR_ FUCKING BRAINS I'M BLOWING OUT!" Revy panted heavily as she finished her outburst.

"I'm so pleased that you've accepted my offer. Walter will be here momentarily to show you to your quarters so that you can get a good rest before we begin your training." Integra said with a superior smile as she quickly walked out of the room, leaving the crew alone.

For a moment, Revy and the three men stood in silence as they processed what just happened.

"I just got played, didn't I..." Revy muttered.

"Yep, you certainly did." Benny replied with a sigh.

* * *

**Probably could have continued... but i like the awkward ending XD**

**Oh, and sorry that there wasn't any Alucard yet (and i think someone else was looking forward to Pip) but he will definitely be in the next chapter (and pip too? maybe...) :P **


End file.
